So, It's The First Date

She gave you her phone number and even smiled at you when she did so. You called her and she agreed to see you on Friday night. You have her address and are picking her up at 7p.m. Now what?

I always like to start out a date with a drink. It just loosens both people up a little and is a good jumping off point for the rest of your date. I would take her to your favorite cafe or bar for a drink and maybe an appetizer while you get to know her a little better.

During this time, I would focus on finding a little bit about her and introducing a small bit of sexual tension into the air. You don’t want to end the night as her new bff. You want to express some interest in a nonthreatening way. Maybe you can lightly touch her arm, hold her hand, brush her hair out of her eyes, something that implies you do view her as a sexual woman.

I might talk about something interesting that I do, planting a seed for something that might later lead us back to my apartment. For instance, I might talk about music from the 70s and my awesome collection of vinyl records, including a rare Led Zeppelin record. Later, if the moment is right, I can offer to bring her back to my place for a drink to listen to the record and who knows where it might go from there.

But back to that first drink -- Once you feel that things have loosened up a bit, you can decide where to go next. It could be for a walk – always a favorite thing of mine to do on a first date, it can be a restaurant, a sporting event, whatever. I would have at least two fun things in mind. If you are uncertain, you can say you were thinking about taking her to see a baseball game or out for sushi and see what she says in response.

But I prefer to just tell her what you have planned for her, without giving her a choice. It’s not that I don’t care what a woman wants to do; it is that I believe in taking the lead on a date that I initiated.

Also, if you are passionate about baseball and want to go to the game that night, it might be good to clear the air right away and find out she hates baseball. In the long run, this might not matter, but it will be good to know.

After you go to whatever second event or place you have determined, it might be the time, if you are connecting and the chemistry is there, to suggest you go back to your place for a drink and a look at your record collection.

If she declines, but the date otherwise went swimmingly, no worries. You can just tell her you hope to be able to show her your place at another time. If she is undecided be sure to tell her that you have no expectations except having a drink and listening to music and you won’t misinterpret her visit as anything else.

You have to mean this as well. You can’t just say it.

But, if she does want to go back to your place, still don’t have any expectations and go with the flow. Enjoy yourself, have a good time and respect her wishes. You never know, you may have just had the first date with your future wife.